Crunchtober #4 "At the end of the day"

(Only 417 words, but I needed to end it)

     "Yes, thank you. I'll be sure to speak to him tomorrow morning." Shurina said to the young soldier, who saluted her smartly and scurried off. She watched him go, the boy just barely a man, enlisted only for a few weeks- hence why he was still limited to messenger duty. She had met him two days prior, and he had greeted her much like many other new recruits did- with bright eyes, in blatant awe of the 'Hero of the Valley." And while Shurina would never regret what she did that day, she was getting rather tired of her reputation preceding her. She was getting tired of the constant reminders, the unrelenting waves of comments and praise. She closed the door to her chambers, finally allowing her body to slump out of its rigid officer's stance as she took a heavy seat on her grand four-poster bed. Her gauntlets weighed heavily on her wrists, her breastplate felt like it was crushing the very bones it was meant to protect. Quickly but carefully, she removed her plate and mail- she had been offered a round the clock squire but had declined. She got enough lamblike stares when she was on duty, she didn't need it in the relative comfort of her private chambers. 

     Drawing the curtains round her bed closed, Shurina curled up in the middle of the (rather absurdly) enormous bed and finally let the bone deep exhaustion she had been holding at bay for what felt like weeks now overtake her. Her muscles felt like lead under her skin, and her head was pounding, the stress headache taking hold of her all at once. She groaned and dug the heels of her palms into her eyes, gritting her teeth and pretending she couldn't feel the tears that moistened the hilt-toughened skin there. 

     It was at times like this, when all work was done and she couldn't possibly resist resting any longer, that the memories came flooding back to her. Images of sun-dappled paths and sunny days made even brighter by sunny smiles mixed with phantom screams, flashes of steel and the sickening crunch of a crossbow bolt through muscle and bone. The overwhelming sense of loss and guilt, mixed with the conflicting feelings of awe and gratitude. Shurina had never imagined humans to be capable of self-sacrifice, that sort of sunny optimism had always been her brother's area. She just wished the lesson that had taught her otherwise could have been just a little less painful.